Are Read Receipts Complicating Relationships?

“I love you.”

*seen 7:47 P.M.*

Communication has always been a tricky puzzle, and the read receipt hasn’t made it any easier to solve.

A read receipt is a special indicator in IM conversations of both the time and date that the receiver opened the sender’s message, such as “seen 7:47 P.M.” or “read at 5:45 P.M.” Now, people can tell exactly when they’re being acknowledged or ignored. To my understanding, you can find read receipts in Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, and iMessage, although these and other applications may give you the option to disable them.

Read receipts almost always inconvenience at least one participating party because if you open the message, then you’re forced to respond to it immediately, and you become locked into a conversation that has no end in sight. Alternatively, if you wait to open the message, then the other person will think that you’re just ignoring them. And while you can opt to use the infamous, “Sorry, I didn’t have my phone on me” excuse, chances are it’s not going to work because honestly, who isn’t carrying their phone 24/7?

Call me “behind the times,” a bitter old man, or whatever, but I’m not a strong believer in text messaging being the primary conversational medium. If anything, it intrudes on the fluid and sloppy yet imperfectly beautiful nature of authentic human communication, and fosters an unhealthy dependence on our comfort zones. Its primary purpose should be to convey vital information, not spend hours exchanging meaningless, lazy, 3 word sentences that do little to progress relationships in the real world and ultimately reduce social competence.

I also don’t have the stamina or retention span (not ATTENTION span) to be effective at text messaging. Read receipts only expose just how ineffective that I can be at it. While texting, I might run into what are perceived breaks in the conversation with you, and thus I might forget to respond, fall asleep, or stop responding altogether. Yet how am I supposed to know what constitutes a break in the conversation when I am unable to evaluate your body language or tone of voice? If the read receipt shows that I’ve opened your latest message at “6:50 P.M.” and I haven’t responded to it ever since, then it might appear as though I’ve lost interest in talking to you, when in actuality I thought we both had nothing more to say. But it doesn’t always come across that way. For that reason, I’m starting to worry that the mere knowledge our most recent messages were opened is enough to further complicate our relationships by creating the false impression that, by virtue of one or two unacknowledged texts, we do not care about our friends and companions anymore.

Texting sure is nice and convenient, but it often creates stress when there should be none. Think, how many times have you agonized over that one unacknowledged message that was opened over three hours ago? How many times have you convinced yourself that your boyfriend or girlfriend has lost interest simply because they haven’t responded to you since last night?

It used to be that the best way to tell you were being ignored was when you called and left a voicemail for a friend, companion, or potential employer, and they never called you back. However, you had no way of knowing that the other person ever received your voicemail—you just had to take it at face value and assume they weren’t interested. Today, it’s more so that you know the other person isn’t interested (because the read receipt tells you exactly when your last message was opened), they just couldn’t make it any less painfully obvious.

The read receipt is another classic example of how technology, when abused, doesn’t enhance communication, but rather obscures it. I hope that someday, we can get into the habit of turning the phones off and opening up to each other the old fashion way.

7 Study Habits That Guarantee Perfect Grades

Who else is familiar with that feeling of skimming through the first few questions on a daunting exam, and having no idea what any of the answers are?

That feeling is marked by a great deal of stress. And the practice of test-taking is, in itself, a great source of stress in the lives of myself and so many other college students right now. Therefore, I have outlined 7 study habits (in order of importance) with the aim of achieving perfect grades and ultimately reducing stress levels. Where to begin?

Habit 1: Write a to-do list every day.

The first habit that you need to start getting into if you want to succeed in school is prioritization. Write down everything that you need to do for the day on a sticky note or whiteboard. This helps to provide you with a sense of focus and structure.

Habit 2: Don’t cram.

That’s right, don’t cram. It’s futile and never works, so always begin studying days and weeks in advance.

Habit 3: Remove distractions.

If I failed a test, I’d be lying to myself if I said that I studied “as much as I could.” Really, that’s a simple rationalization for how much I didn’t study.

99 times out of 100, the reason you perform poorly on an exam has nothing to do with the difficulty level of the class, the professor who teaches the class, or even your own work ethic. The main culprit in this scenario is the level of distractibility at the time you were attempting to study for the recently-failed exam.

Distractions are the biggest problems you face in school because they consume large portions of time that could otherwise be spent growing your knowledge. For instance, you could be intensely focused on rereading a chapter in your Anthropology textbook, but all of a sudden you’re notified of a new video in your subscription feed on YouTube. And there goes 15 precious minutes of your day.

To maximize your chances of academic success, you need to eliminate as many distractions as possible. Avoid social media and TURN OFF your phone. If you feel the need to take breaks, do so intermittently.

Habit 4: Don’t study passively. Study ACTIVELY.

This habit is essential if you want to achieve perfect grades. While studying, you need to extract meaning from the material, utilizing as many brain areas as possible that are involved in both memory and cognition. You cannot, for example, passively flip a few flashcards and expect to fully memorize all of the terminology. Real memorization requires a key understanding of the terminology rather than just a familiarity with it. Recall, don’t recognize.

Habit 5: Compose your own exam questions WITH examples.

So how do you “study actively” if you can’t just sit back and flip flashcards? In this college student’s humble opinion, the best method of active studying is to compose test questions that you believe are the most likely to appear on an exam, answer each of them in your own words, and provide them with examples. Rather than just copy definitions straight from the textbook, put your own spin on the terminology while also gathering information from alternative resources such as YouTube, a tutor, and your professor.

Habit 6: Take it one step at a time.

The RAM of a computer is not without its limits. When it’s trying to run too many programs at once, the CPU starts slowing down and sometimes stops working altogether. Your brain functions in the same way.

When you have five upcoming exams in the same week, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. However, if you spend too much time worrying about everything that you need to get done, you risk getting absolutely nothing done. I know firsthand what that’s like. I would look at my to-do list for the day and think there was no conceivable chance that I could get everything done in time. I would become stressed about not studying enough, and as a result not study at all.

The main takeaway from this habit is not to fall prey to ‘analysis paralysis,’ a state-of-mind characterized by the persistent need to overthink. Sufferers of analysis paralysis fixate on what ostensibly can and cannot go wrong, and they’ll think about a problem so much that they miss the opportunity solve it. By now you can probably understand why this manner of thinking isn’t conducive to academic success: if you try to do too much at once, you won’t get nearly enough done in the long run. So take it one step at a time.

Habit 7: Believe in yourself.

This seventh habit might sound cliché, but it’s so very true: have faith in yourself. Research indicates that when students believe they are going to fail their upcoming exams, they do exactly that. They fail. It all comes back to the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy in that our expectations of future events are what cause them to manifest in reality. For example, if Sandra believes that her upcoming chemistry exam will be impossible to pass, she might not even bother studying for it. Why should she? She’s going to fail it anyway.

So what does Sandra do? She doesn’t study, and thus she fails the exam. However, if she convinced herself that she was more than capable of passing the exam, she might have been motivated to make an effort, brushing up on old material, reviewing concepts, and increasing her chances of getting a better grade. Therefore, 99.99% of the battle ISN’T studying to get the A, but rather BELIEVING that you’ve already got the A. Furthermore, even if you study vigorously and don’t receive the grade that you wanted, you can at least take comfort in knowing that you didn’t just give up on the off chance that you might have failed.

Side notes:

– Refrain from using Adderall or other high-powered stimulants to study. As much of an added boost that stimulant drugs can provide, the risks for dependency and addiction aren’t worth it.

– Get a good night’s rest after a long study session, as it helps your brain sort through newly learned material and facilitates the formation of long-term memories. In addition, avoid drinking booze before bed. Alcohol decreases the quality of deep sleep and thus disrupts the learning process.

– Failed a test? Too bad… try again next time!

– Understand that your test-taking abilities do not reflect who you are as a person. You have much more to show for yourself than a few letter grades.

And that’s it—the 7 habits for academic success. Do you practice any of these habits?