How Problematic Are You?

 “We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.”

– Andrew, The Breakfast Club

In John Hughes’s The Breakfast Club (1985), five stereotypical teenagers, a “prom queen,” a “geek,” a “jock,” a “criminal,” and a “basket case,” attend detention at their high school’s library on an early Saturday morning. As punishment for their previous transgressions, the delinquents are instructed to compose a 1,000-word essay explaining “who they think they are,” but no work gets done and they spend the remainder of their detention forming unlikely bonds with one another. At face value, the film can be likened to an extended bottle episode that you would watch in a television show—not much else happens beyond a band of misfits talking about their problems and standing up to an abusive authority figure for an hour and a half. Upon further examination, we find a surprising character study on the nuanced complexities of adolescence, with our five protagonists discovering that, despite their assigned stereotypes that ostensibly divide them, they are in fact united by common struggles inside and outside of school.

The Breakfast Club was so successful that it grossed more than fifty times its budget, cementing it as one of the best movies of the 1980s and standing the test of time. The film resonates with me for its smartly written, dynamic, and relatable characters, who all have rich and complicated histories that provide clarity on their personalities. For example, we learn that Allison, the basket case, struggles with forming meaningful relationships because all her life, her parents have neglected her. Brian, the geek, is easily impressionable and contemplates suicide for fear of failing an important class. Claire, the prom queen, is deeply insecure about her virginity, while her friend group prevents her from forging a stable identity. Andrew, the jock, is pushed too hard by his father for not being a good enough wrestler. Finally, Bender, the criminal, incurs constant verbal and physical abuse from his father.

Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes to the issues that the Breakfast Club has spent the majority of its detention working through. The conclusion sees Allison and Andrew develop a relationship, Claire help Bender get in touch with his compassion, and Brian finish the essay for Mr. Vernon. However, their fate is largely open to interpretation, as no sequel is ever made that informs us of where Allison, Andrew, Claire, Bender, and Brian end up in the next 10-20 years and thus we presume that they all go their separate ways after detention ends. What is especially poignant is the understanding that even if these characters lives never intersect again, and if their issues persist through high school graduation and into adulthood, the impacts they leave on each other will last forever. This is best illustrated by the film’s hallmark song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds, which sings about the necessity of transparency in human relationships.

While Hughes’s beloved coming-of-age film serves as a commentary on typical teenage angst and how frequently misunderstood it is by adults, I think many of the characters’ insecurities go well beyond and perhaps supersede the adolescent years, manifesting in a variety of cultures that are not relegated to white, middle class America. If they are left unresolved, they could yield disastrous consequences later in life. For instance, if Bender never makes amends with his abusive father, he could become an abusive father himself one day. If Claire never chooses the right friends, she might spend the rest of her life never knowing who she is. Finally, if Andrew never learns to cope with the prospect of failure, he may one day successfully attempt suicide. The aim of The Breakfast Club is therefore to encourage you, the viewer, to recognize how very little effort is involved in judging, attaching labels to, and dismissing another person based upon an eccentricity, idiosyncrasy, or superficial attribute that he or she is best known for, and that through digging deeper into what makes that person tick, you will make shocking discoveries about them and even yourself.

Think of a person in your life who, by virtue of something that you don’t like such as an annoying stutter or thick perfume, is assumed to be completely problem-free. Chances are, such a person doesn’t exist. In his video, The Science of Awkwardness (2015), Michael from Vsauce strikes this point upon discussing “protagonist disease,” a condition that erodes our interpersonal interactions by deluding us into thinking the world revolves around us 24 hours 7 days a week, or that we are the sole characters the drive our stories forward. Everyone else is just, as Michael puts it, “one-dimensional background characters” who have no virtually effect on your life. In fact, you couldn’t care less about them because they don’t understand what it’s like to be in your shoes—your goals, dreams, aspirations, internal conflicts, and all of the complexities that make you, you. Michael then uses the example of a guy who took too long to order in front of you earlier this morning to illustrate another psychological phenomenon interchangeable with that of protagonist disease, the fundamental attribution error. He states, “He’s obviously just an innately annoying person. That’s his entire purpose, but when YOU take too long, it’s because the staff was unhelpful—you were flustered, preoccupied by an earlier conversation.” But what if all along, the reason that guy took so long to order was because he was caught up in thought about his wife of 26 years, who unfortunately passed away to cancer earlier that week?

The fundamental attribution error becomes evident in the scene where the Breakfast Club gathers around for a group therapy session. In this scene, Brian claims that he considers them all to be his friends, but worries that as soon as Monday arrives, everything will go back to normal and they will no longer speak to each other. Claire is brutally honest with Brian, stating that if Andrew saw Brian in the hallway on Monday, he would briefly acknowledge Brian’s presence but then disparage him behind his back so that his friends wouldn’t think he’s a loser for hanging out with the geeks. Allison asks Claire what would happen if she approached her in the hallway, and Claire replies with saying, “Same exact thing.” Later, Brian calls Claire out on her conceit—of course she will look down upon the less privileged and less popular when she cannot even so much as determine who her real friends are, but Claire protests that it’s more complicated than that. “I hate it—I hate having to go along with everything my friends say,” complains Claire. Brian asks why, then, she continues to hang around people who clearly make her feel miserable. In tears, Claire admits, “I don’t know. You don’t understand. You’re not friends with the same kind of people that Andy and I are friends with. You know, you just don’t understand the pressure they can put on you.” An outraged Brian asks if Claire really thinks he doesn’t know what it’s like to be under pressure, and then shouts, “Well FUCK YOU! Fuck you.”

I am fascinated and quite relieved to know that everyone, not just high school students, has a unique set of challenges that they must overcome if they are expected to survive and thrive. I cannot, with respect to my friends’ and family members’ privacy, go down an entire list of their personal problems, but let’s just say that they are not exempt from them. Furthermore, I, too, have made the fundamental attribution error on a number of occasions. For instance, recently I discovered that one guy for whom I mistook excessive masculinity as his defining trait, actually used to go into the closet to cry when his customers became too abusive for him to handle.

It just goes to show that stereotypes, whether we subscribe to them or not, are only a small fraction of our personas.

What Cannabidiol Therapy Can Do for You

Megan, an old friend, messaged me on Facebook asking if I could write an article about her reactions to cannabidiol (CBD), the non-psychoactive sister cannabinoid to THC. Like THC, CBD binds to cannabinoid receptors in the brain, but they elicit a wide array of effects not hallucinogenic in nature. Some of the reported effects include an improvement in mood, increased sleep and appetite, pain modulation, and refined memory (Butterfield, 2016). It has gained popularity with an increasing number of patients interested in adopting cannabis as a form of treatment for their ailments but want to do so without experiencing the taxing head highs that marijuana is popular for.

With her permission, I am allowed to reveal why Megan chose CBD as her preferred treatment. Simply put, Megan suffers from mild depression and severe anxiety, and it took great courage for her to admit that to me when we consider the disastrous public mental health stigmas that plague Americans and ultimately turn them off from the getting help they so desperately need (Parcesepe & Cabassa, 2013). A common mental health stigma is that anxious or depressed people are weak. We know that to not always be the case.

But Megan’s story doesn’t end with this article—she wants to encourage other sufferers of depression and anxiety to not only seek possible treatments, but to seek natural treatments. Because while drugs like Prozac and Xanax have their respective benefits, one causes radical personality changes and the other yields a high potential for abuse, overdoses, and hospital admissions, especially when used irresponsibly (Harding, 2009; MacLaren, 2017). If I can use Megan’s story to spread the word that natural remedies are indeed out there and work just as effectively as synthetic drugs, I like to think that I’d be doing the world a service.

Then again, it’s very easy say that CBD therapy works, but that does not necessarily mean it will work for you. As such, this article will provide a brief rundown of Megan’s documented experiences with CBD over a period of 15 days so that you, the reader, can judge whether or not it is the right treatment option.

Before continuing, let me address the elephant in the room: CBD’s legal status. I’m sure you don’t want to obtain CBD hemp oil only to discover that it’s no less illegal in your state than THC is, so what does the legality of CBD look like both state-by-state and at the federal level? The short answer is “it’s complicated.” In December of 2016, the Drug Enforcement Administration articulated that any extracts from a cannabis plant are Schedule I controlled substances, effectively putting them on the same level as heroin, LSD, and bath salts. Nonetheless, CBD laws are inconsistent across the country. That is, in the 28 states allowing for the possession and consumption of medical marijuana, CBD is also legal for medical purposes. Sixteen more states have passed laws that, although restrictive, have legalized CBD. In the 6 remaining states—Idaho, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Indiana, and West Virginia—CBD, THC, and alternative cannabis extracts are 100 percent illegal (Summers, 2017).

Now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way, how has Megan’s time with CBD been?

Day 1: This was the first day that Megan ingested CBD to treat her anxiety. She writes in the e-mail that she used a vape oil called “FX Chill.” The device she used for ingestion was the high-grade vaporizer Yocan Evolve C. She took two puffs from it at 9 A.M. and pledged to take two every morning and two every night. Instantly, she felt rejuvenated—a little high-strung from the events of the previous day, but much less apprehensive than she would have been otherwise.

Day 2: Megan woke up slightly anxious from what she puts as an “odd dream.” To her surprise, she wasn’t as on-edge as she normally is when she wakes up, and her typical anxious symptoms like heavy breathing and rapid heartbeat were absent. She also mentions that she lost the mouthpiece to her vaporizer. Whereas before, her anxiety would have snowballed, this time she felt tranquil. “That is abnormal to me,” she writes.

Day 3: This was a Saturday, and Megan felt unusually contented. She worked in the evening and arrived home feeling calm.

Day 4: This day was an emotional rollercoaster for Megan. Apparently, she felt fine for the first half of it, then depressed toward the evening, and better at night. She also felt a tad nervous here and there.  Despite this, Megan asserted that she would continue on with CBD therapy hoping for longer-term mood improvements.

Day 5: This day was a Monday, and Megan complained that Mondays are stressful for her because they net the most traffic at her workplace. She still felt calm and collected, and it turned out to be a fine day.

Day 6: Megan explains that Tuesdays are hard because after working for 16 straight hours, she refuses to get any sleep. As a consequence of her lack of patience to rest up, she becomes very tired and thus aggravates her anxiety. However, on this particular day all her negative feelings—her depression, anxiety, and apprehension—were absent, and she only felt happy and carefree. She notes, “I am able to experience a glimpse of what life was like pre-onset of my anxiety and that was something I never thought I would see again.”

Day 7: Nothing of much importance happened on this day. Megan went out at midnight to celebrate her friend’s 21st birthday, emphasizing that while she normally feels uncomfortable in social situations of that nature, she felt like she could handle it well.

Day 8: On this day, Megan felt tired and restless but still wasn’t anxious. She worked a run-of-the-mill 8-4 shift and arrived home, relieved to discover that her boyfriend, in a gesture of affection, had completed an assortment of household tasks for her. However, he was troubled by things going on in his life, and Megan did all she could to make him feel better, but nothing worked. Even so, with the help of CBD, she felt more than capable of handling the acute stress associated with trying to console a partner who’s clearly distressed.

Day 9: Here, we start to notice a theme of liberation. Megan once again expresses that she just feels free, like all her troubles are ever present but minimized and less threatening. Later on, however, a rude and obnoxious customer triggered an episode of aggressive anxiety in her. She took a few more puffs of CBD to quell her frustration, but didn’t feel much better afterward.

Day 10: This was a bit of an off day for Megan. Still upset from yesterday, she cried intermittently but was able to pull herself together. In addition, she attended lunch with her dad and dinner with friends, and on both occasions, she drank alcohol.

Day 11: “It was a fairly normal Monday,” Megan writes. She experienced very little anxiety.

Days 12/13/14/15: After forgetting to take CBD on Tuesday and Wednesday, Megan’s anxiety came back in full force, with feelings of extreme sensitivity, despondency, loathsomeness, and most of all, doubt about herself and her capabilities. When she resumed treatment late on Wednesday and into Thursday, she could get back to living life on her terms again, attesting that all this time CBD has worked wonders for her and that she wouldn’t know what to do without it. The quality of her life, she states, has improved dramatically, and she didn’t realize how much better she felt until she missed her dosages.

Based on Megan’s feedback, does CBD therapy work? If so, is it within your best interest? I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I would like to thank Megan for opening up a window into her life and allowing me to post this article. It is people like her who remind us that depression and anxiety are not simply character flaws, but rather afflictions that, much like a physical disability, can be treated and coped with. I hope that through sharing her story today, I can lift the stigma off mental health issues just a little bit and encourage my audience to finally request help.

 

References

Butterfield, D. (2017, February 09). CBD: Everything You Need To Know About Cannabidiol. Retrieved October 10, 2017, from https://herb.co/2016/07/26/everything-you-need-to-know-about-cbd/

 

Harding, A. (2009, December 08). Antidepressants change personality, study suggests. Retrieved October 10, 2017, from http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/12/08/antidepressant.personality.changes/index.html

 

MacLaren, E. (2016, October 06). Xanax History and Statistics. Retrieved October 10, 2017, from https://drugabuse.com/library/xanax-history-and-statistics/

 

Parcesepe, A. M., & Cabassa, L. J. (2013). Public Stigma of Mental Illness in the United States: A Systematic Literature Review. Adm Policy Ment Health, 40(5), 384-399. Retrieved October 10, 2017, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3835659/

 

Summers, D. (2017, March 22). Is CBD Oil Legal? Depends on Where You Are and Who You Ask. Retrieved October 10, 2017, from https://www.leafly.com/news/politics/cbd-oil-legal-depends-ask

When to Know You Have Redeemed Yourself

I work at the local grocery store, and one time, I was facing the shelves in Aisle 15. While I was minding my own business and organizing items, a customer approached me and kindly asked where the prunes were. Prunes, I thought, were located in the produce section—they’re a fruit after all. It turned out that at my store, prunes are only sold in the form of a can, and that they were actually located in Aisle 9, the baking aisle. Of course, I erroneously instructed the customer to search for them in the produce department, but to my dismay, the hostess was working next to me and therefore overheard my misleading feedback.

In case you’re wondering, the hostess’s job is direct customers to the items that they cannot find, so you can probably imagine how frustrated she was with this pathetic cashier’s uninformed, uneducated guidance on the whereabouts of prunes. She corrected my mistake by ushering the customer to Aisle 9, and then returned to Aisle 15 to scold me.

“These people pay our salaries,” the hostess angrily exclaimed. “If you constantly direct them to the wrong locations, they’ll get fed up and WE’LL lose business.”

Little did she realize that at the end of the day, I am just a cashier and thus not expected by my managers to know the locations of every conceivable item in the store. But I’m a man of principle in that when I’m asked a question—any question—I try to give the best answer possible to it, regardless if I’m right or wrong. That was how I was taught. I protested to the hostess that if I relinquish my competence by constantly relying on others to answer questions that were originally asked TO me, then I’ll be perceived as weak. When she continued to poke that bee hive, I naturally reacted with agitation.

“Okay, SORRY” I said with a snide tone, turning my head away and continuing to organize the items. For the next ten seconds, neither of us would say a thing. The hostess, dumbfounded by my defiance, asked what my name was in order to report me to a manager, but before she could leave the aisle, I promptly apologized to her. “I apologize for my tone-of-voice. I’ve had a long day and took my frustration out on you. I didn’t mean to.”

That was over a year ago, but I’ve routinely thought about the ways in which I could’ve better handled the encounter. Perhaps I should’ve set aside my pride, and allowed the hostess to answer the customer’s question all along. Maybe I should’ve been a little sterner when she scolded me, or maybe I should’ve just known where the damned prunes were.

Interestingly, five days ago, I’m working the register and a different customer approaches me to ask about where to find the prunes. “Aisle 9,” I told him.

I told this story because it is a glimpse into what self-redemption could look like. We’ve all made thousands of mistakes that we wish we could take back. Due to the nature of time and how it works, we can’t undo or rescind them, but we can register and put them to work.

Let’s say, for example, that I was never approached by that fateful customer. Big deal. I could’ve done my job in peace and circumvented an uncomfortable conversation with a pesky coworker. Five days ago, however, the outcome would’ve been the same as the incident that occurred over a year ago, but with one key difference: I would’ve erroneously directed the customer to the produce department, and never learned about the location of prunes, thereby setting myself up to repeat the same mistake as before.

In a world outside a grocery store, we might fail at relationships, fail at new jobs, and fail exams, but that doesn’t always mean that we’ve failed as people. Through applying this knowledge to navigating interpersonal relationships, learning a novel career position, and taking an important exam, we begin to realize that each of our mistakes, lamentable as they may be, are stepping stones toward achieving a more favorable outcome the next time an opportunity presents itself. That is the precise definition of self-redemption, because to achieve it, you must endure profound failures and hardships but take away from them the wisdom to know that you’ve done a poor job, and that you hope to do better the next time.

Now go and find those prunes.

Are Read Receipts Complicating Relationships?

“I love you.”

*seen 7:47 P.M.*

Communication has always been a tricky puzzle, and the read receipt hasn’t made it any easier to solve.

A read receipt is a special indicator in IM conversations of both the time and date that the receiver opened the sender’s message, such as “seen 7:47 P.M.” or “read at 5:45 P.M.” Now, people can tell exactly when they’re being acknowledged or ignored. To my understanding, you can find read receipts in Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, and iMessage, although these and other applications may give you the option to disable them.

Read receipts almost always inconvenience at least one participating party because if you open the message, then you’re forced to respond to it immediately, and you become locked into a conversation that has no end in sight. Alternatively, if you wait to open the message, then the other person will think that you’re just ignoring them. And while you can opt to use the infamous, “Sorry, I didn’t have my phone on me” excuse, chances are it’s not going to work because honestly, who isn’t carrying their phone 24/7?

Call me “behind the times,” a bitter old man, or whatever, but I’m not a strong believer in text messaging being the primary conversational medium. If anything, it intrudes on the fluid and sloppy yet imperfectly beautiful nature of authentic human communication, and fosters an unhealthy dependence on our comfort zones. Its primary purpose should be to convey vital information, not spend hours exchanging meaningless, lazy, 3 word sentences that do little to progress relationships in the real world and ultimately reduce social competence.

I also don’t have the stamina or retention span (not ATTENTION span) to be effective at text messaging. Read receipts only expose just how ineffective that I can be at it. While texting, I might run into what are perceived breaks in the conversation with you, and thus I might forget to respond, fall asleep, or stop responding altogether. Yet how am I supposed to know what constitutes a break in the conversation when I am unable to evaluate your body language or tone of voice? If the read receipt shows that I’ve opened your latest message at “6:50 P.M.” and I haven’t responded to it ever since, then it might appear as though I’ve lost interest in talking to you, when in actuality I thought we both had nothing more to say. But it doesn’t always come across that way. For that reason, I’m starting to worry that the mere knowledge our most recent messages were opened is enough to further complicate our relationships by creating the false impression that, by virtue of one or two unacknowledged texts, we do not care about our friends and companions anymore.

Texting sure is nice and convenient, but it often creates stress when there should be none. Think, how many times have you agonized over that one unacknowledged message that was opened over three hours ago? How many times have you convinced yourself that your boyfriend or girlfriend has lost interest simply because they haven’t responded to you since last night?

It used to be that the best way to tell you were being ignored was when you called and left a voicemail for a friend, companion, or potential employer, and they never called you back. However, you had no way of knowing that the other person ever received your voicemail—you just had to take it at face value and assume they weren’t interested. Today, it’s more so that you know the other person isn’t interested (because the read receipt tells you exactly when your last message was opened), they just couldn’t make it any less painfully obvious.

The read receipt is another classic example of how technology, when abused, doesn’t enhance communication, but rather obscures it. I hope that someday, we can get into the habit of turning the phones off and opening up to each other the old fashion way.

Depression Is Your Friend

It’s crazy, right? How can something as unpleasant as depression, the leading precursor to suicide, actually be thought of as a good buddy?

First off, I would like to emphasize that I am in no way praising deep, debilitating depression. Instead, this article is aimed at discussing depression as a form of motivation, not a psychological disorder.

When you think of a friend, what is the first thing that comes to mind? A friend might be someone who you watch a ballgame with. They might even be someone who drives you home when you’re too drunk to drive yourself. For me, a friend is someone so much more than that; someone much different than a family member or spouse.

For me, a friend is someone who attends that ballgame not because they want to get out of the house for a few hours, but because they genuinely enjoy your company. A friend is someone who drives you home when you’re drunk not out of obligation, but out of concern for your safety. Really, a friend is someone who accepts you without question, sees the value that you bring to the world, and looks out for you during hard times.

So how does depression look out for you? Well, for starters I’m writing this post with my fingers. I have a brain that thinks and reasons in order to produce the language that is responsible for the post in the first place. I have a stomach to digest the food I ate two hours ago and a heart that pumps blood to keep me alive. The truth is, depression wouldn’t exist if, along with every organ in my body, it didn’t serve some kind of a survival function. The theory of evolution suggests that our predecessors who did not experience depression were selected against and died off, while those who experienced depression lived on to spread their genes and ultimately create you and me. With that said, depression is as much a part of us as our fingers, stomachs, brains, and hearts are. It is an instrument of survival.

Then again, depression doesn’t get enough credit. We condemn it, scrutinize it, and in many cases medicate it when it doesn’t need medicating. How do you even define depression in a positive light when it is this widely stigmatized and condemnable “sickness of the mind” or worse, character flaw? Well, it’s not an impossible task.

Normal depression, and by extension grief, can be defined as a self-regulatory mechanism in which a problem is continually reflected on and analyzed with the intent of preventing it from reoccurring. It’s almost like trying to solve a math equation that you’ve been stuck on for hours in that you’ll rework the problem over and over until a correct solution becomes evident. The only time the mind-boggling math equation that is depression becomes debilitating is when episodes are prolonged, lasting for weeks and months at a time, and disrupt personal and professional relationships. At that point, you never solve the problem, you just keep staring at it and expecting something to change.

I can tell you with certainty that for every mistake I’ve made and problem that I’ve created, I never would have improved as a human being if I didn’t feel depressed afterward. There were times when I failed a test or said something extremely hurtful to another person, and afterward that was all I thought about for the rest of the day and even the rest of the week. I’d think to myself, “How could I let this happen?” and “What went wrong, and what can I do to fix this mess?”

Don’t get me wrong, depressive rumination isn’t fun. Some of the worst moments in my life were where I would become so emotionally drained, so dispirited, and so, well… depressed, that I couldn’t even move. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t play video games, and I generally couldn’t function normally. Why would anybody want to suffer through such an experience? The answer is that it can be used as motivational fuel when it is channeled into something more meaningful. I look at it this way: you could achieve every major success in the book, but by the time that one failure comes around it’s suddenly the worst thing in the world because you haven’t acquainted yourself with what it’s like to truly lose. To truly face defeat. In this manner, the low points in life help us appreciate the high points and remind us of the progress (or lack thereof) we’re making.

Occasional, not chronic, depression is your friend because it’s got your back. It PUSHES you toward improvement by notifying you that you need to make some much needed corrections in your life. And trust me, you’re better off with than without it.

Five Criticisms of “13 Reasons Why”

Note: Spoilers ahead for “13 Reasons Why.”

13 Reasons Why is a great show—possibly one of the better shows I’ve watched this year. However, I couldn’t help but walk away from it without expressing a few criticisms of the way it handled its subject matter. So what might these criticisms be?

Criticism 1: Too often, it ignores Hannah’s mental health problems.

I do not personally believe that the writers glamorized suicide, but I can understand both arguments. On the one hand, the show did an exemplary job at illustrating the long-term ramifications that suicide has on our relationships. On the other, it deceived the audience into thinking that Hannah’s suicide was a revenge ploy, when in fact it was the result of her deep-seated psychological issues (e.g.: depression, bipolar disorder, histrionic personality disorder, or PTSD) that went unabated.

Criticism 2: It makes it difficult to sympathize with Hannah.

It was difficult to feel sorry for Hannah when she wouldn’t speak up for herself. After being raped by Bryce, why didn’t she tell her parents, or anyone for that matter? If she had explained what happened to her, she could have gotten the help she needed and therefore turned Bryce in. Instead, she allowed her pain to consume her indefinitely, and that made it hard to root for her.

Criticism 3: It places undeserved blame on the other characters.

Clay and the guidance counselor did absolutely nothing wrong. Clay was punished because Hannah expected him to be a mind-reader, while the counselor was punished because he was unequipped to advise suicidal students. Both clearly overlooked obvious red flags that Hannah displayed, but that doesn’t make either of them responsible for her death. The same holds true for everyone else on the tapes, including Bryce.

Criticism 4: It overstates the unpleasantness of high school.

The fact that Hannah was unwilling to cope with petty interpersonal drama (something that we all put up with) means that she probably lacked the emotional resources to solve real problems. More importantly, the show implies that high school is the worst time in a person’s life when it isn’t. Life gets much harder after we’ve graduated high school, and thus in Season 2, the show needs to do a better job at depicting the challenges that we face beyond those relatively insignificant 4 years.

Criticism 5: It imposes unrealistic expectations upon its audience.

It seems that the main message of the show is to “be kind to everybody, because you never know what someone else is going through,” but you know what the fundamental flaw is with that logic? You can never be totally sure when you’re hurting someone else’s feelings. Sometimes, I treat people poorly when I don’t realize it, and the opposite is also true. I should not be expected to moderate my language at every moment of the day on the off chance that someone is going to commit suicide because of some stupid thing that I said.

Despite all of this negative feedback, I agree with the writers’ decision to ultimately display Hannah’s suicide on screen, because by not showing it, they would have downplayed its severity and taken away the whole point of the show.

Overall, I hope that 13 Reasons Why further encourages younger people to seek professional help by driving discussions on highly sensitive topics like suicide and sexual assault, and that Season 2 (if there is one) addresses the criticisms I’ve listed above.

Seven Study Habits That Guarantee Perfect Grades

Who else is familiar with that feeling of skimming through the first few questions on a daunting exam, and having no idea what any of the answers are?

That feeling is marked by a great deal of stress. And the practice of test-taking is, in itself, a great source of stress in the lives of myself and so many other college students right now. Therefore, I have outlined 7 study habits (in order of importance) with the aim of achieving perfect grades and ultimately reducing stress levels. Where to begin?

Habit 1: Write a to-do list every day.

The first habit that you need to start getting into if you want to succeed in school is prioritization. Write down everything that you need to do for the day on a sticky note or whiteboard. This helps to provide you with a sense of focus and structure.

Habit 2: Don’t cram.

That’s right, don’t cram. It’s futile and never works, so always begin studying days and weeks in advance.

Habit 3: Remove distractions.

If I failed a test, I’d be lying to myself if I said that I studied “as much as I could.” Really, that’s a simple rationalization for how much I didn’t study.

99 times out of 100, the reason you perform poorly on an exam has nothing to do with the difficulty level of the class, the professor who teaches the class, or even your own work ethic. The main culprit in this scenario is the level of distractibility at the time you were attempting to study for the recently-failed exam.

Distractions are the biggest problems you face in school because they consume large portions of time that could otherwise be spent growing your knowledge. For instance, you could be intensely focused on rereading a chapter in your Anthropology textbook, but all of a sudden you’re notified of a new video in your subscription feed on YouTube. And there goes 15 precious minutes of your day.

To maximize your chances of academic success, you need to eliminate as many distractions as possible. Avoid social media and TURN OFF your phone. If you feel the need to take breaks, do so intermittently.

Habit 4: Don’t study passively. Study ACTIVELY.

This habit is essential if you want to achieve perfect grades. While studying, you need to extract meaning from the material, utilizing as many brain areas as possible that are involved in both memory and cognition. You cannot, for example, passively flip a few flashcards and expect to fully memorize all of the terminology. Real memorization requires a key understanding of the terminology rather than just a familiarity with it. Recall, don’t recognize.

Habit 5: Compose your own exam questions WITH examples.

So how do you “study actively” if you can’t just sit back and flip flashcards? In this college student’s humble opinion, the best method of active studying is to compose test questions that you believe are the most likely to appear on an exam, answer each of them in your own words, and provide them with examples. Rather than just copy definitions straight from the textbook, put your own spin on the terminology while also gathering information from alternative resources such as YouTube, a tutor, and your professor.

Habit 6: Take it one step at a time.

The RAM of a computer is not without its limits. When it’s trying to run too many programs at once, the CPU starts slowing down and sometimes stops working altogether. Your brain functions in the same way.

When you have five upcoming exams in the same week, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed. However, if you spend too much time worrying about everything that you need to get done, you risk getting absolutely nothing done. I know firsthand what that’s like. I would look at my to-do list for the day and think there was no conceivable chance that I could get everything done in time. I would become stressed about not studying enough, and as a result not study at all.

The main takeaway from this habit is not to fall prey to ‘analysis paralysis,’ a state-of-mind characterized by the persistent need to overthink. Sufferers of analysis paralysis fixate on what ostensibly can and cannot go wrong, and they’ll think about a problem so much that they miss the opportunity solve it. By now you can probably understand why this manner of thinking isn’t conducive to academic success: if you try to do too much at once, you won’t get nearly enough done in the long run. So take it one step at a time.

Habit 7: Believe in yourself.

This seventh habit might sound cliché, but it’s so very true: have faith in yourself. Research indicates that when students believe they are going to fail their upcoming exams, they do exactly that. They fail. It all comes back to the idea of the self-fulfilling prophecy in that our expectations of future events are what cause them to manifest in reality. For example, if Sandra believes that her upcoming chemistry exam will be impossible to pass, she might not even bother studying for it. Why should she? She’s going to fail it anyway.

So what does Sandra do? She doesn’t study, and thus she fails the exam. However, if she convinced herself that she was more than capable of passing the exam, she might have been motivated to make an effort, brushing up on old material, reviewing concepts, and increasing her chances of getting a better grade. Therefore, 99.99% of the battle ISN’T studying to get the A, but rather BELIEVING that you’ve already got the A. Furthermore, even if you study vigorously and don’t receive the grade that you wanted, you can at least take comfort in knowing that you didn’t just give up on the off chance that you might have failed.

Side notes:

– Refrain from using Adderall or other high-powered stimulants to study. As much of an added boost that stimulant drugs can provide, the risks for dependency and addiction aren’t worth it.

– Get a good night’s rest after a long study session, as it helps your brain sort through newly learned material and facilitates the formation of long-term memories. In addition, avoid drinking booze before bed. Alcohol decreases the quality of deep sleep and thus disrupts the learning process.

– Failed a test? Too bad… try again next time!

– Understand that your test-taking abilities do not reflect who you are as a person. You have much more to show for yourself than a few letter grades.

And that’s it—the 7 habits for academic success. Do you practice any of these habits?